Let’s compromise

It is said that changing her mind is a woman’s prerogative. In Latin, praerogativa meant during the Roman times, voting first in the comitia, a privilege. Initially, praerogatus meant to ask for an opinion before another.

In time, a prerogative came to be defined as a privilege, an obtained right, or a discretionary power.

To change one’s mind means to think better of it. Often in a discussion is heard “she changed her mind. She is unstable. She cannot be trusted.”

In a relation, especially, I have noticed, mostly coming from men, a reluctance when comes to “change”. For some reason, men believe change is not good as it might denote a weakness or a flaw of character. The opposite of this “weakness” would be the stubbornness to remain unchanged on a certain position. Now, stubbornness itself might come in handy sometimes if it’s applied to the willingness of staying alive, for instance. Change is unknown, uncertainty and what we don’t know, we tend to fear. Change becomes fear. Of anything.

Sometimes, in a man’s opinion, change is giving up, stepping back, and consequently losing face. Yet, people and surroundings are in a perpetual change. Without change we wouldn’t have evolved as human species. Without change, we wouldn’t have been gratified with technological advancement or medical discoveries. Without change, we would be still thinking that thunder and lightning are god’s wrath.

I frequently hear the way the word “change” is used and I am displeased with its usage. “I will not change who I am. This is who I am. Take it or leave it” became a dear motto to people around the world, regardless of race, age, religion or mentality. All this, being served as a cold dish difficult to digest, with a threatening ultimatum tone, along with “I won’t compromise”.

In a relationship, change became synonym with compromise, and compromise for some reason has a negative connotation, denoting a feeble character of the person who agrees to it.

How many times didn’t we all hear “I will not compromise”! Why the hell not? What is wrong with compromising? According to the same dictionary, compromise is defined as a mutual promise to abide by an arbiter's decision, from the Latin compromissum, and basically denotes a settlement of differences by consent reached by mutual concessions. Mutual. Reciprocal.

However, the inflected form of the verb 'compromised' or 'compromising' reached in time to mean to expose to suspicion, discredit, or mischief as in “his reputation has been compromised”, and not at all to come to agreement by mutual concession, as in giving up something that is promised.

The word 'change' comes with various nuances: change of heart (a reversal in position or attitude), change off (to alternate with another at doing an act), change of life (a major turning point or critical stage), change of pace (an interruption of continuity by a shift to a different activity), chump change (a relatively small or insignificant amount of money).

The term itself originates from the Latin cambiare, to exchange, also akin to Old Irish camm which means crooked. Its synonyms are alter, vary, modify and mean to make or become different (source: Merriam Webster).

Is change bad? Is it something we should fear or embrace?

If people don’t change who they are, no one will repent eventually, no one will say sorry, no one will admit did wrong, no one will grow on a mental and spiritual plan. Change is always welcomed because change is adaptation. Change is evolution. Change is development. But change is also fear. How afraid are you?