Monday, October 30, 2023

For a season or a reason. Never a lifetime.

Some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime (author unknown).

Some people intersect us like hasty passers-by, who touch us by mistake, without realizing it, but making their mark on you: a light bruise, a shiver, an elbow, a pick-pocket, a shrugged shoulder or a turned head. At times, we wonder what impact such a passer-by can imprint on us.Or, we just insolently move on, without giving it much thought. It's seldom that we see no benefits of such encounter and all we perceive in the end is the annoyance, the brutality of the gesture, the harassment, the screamed warnings, the pulled-sleeve, the violation of our personal space and world.

The reason is usually defined as "the basis or motive for an action, decision, or conviction. See 'because or why'.

Why? Because.

Perhaps, as a declaration made to explain or justify action, decision, or conviction? Eg. "she inquired about his reason for doing so". Maybe. May be.

The reason itself is a motive and there is a motive for almost anything, as we can pretty much justify every deed: murder, cheating, misleading, and/or creating false expectations. Or just not aligning our expectations.

The same heartless but helpful dictionary says that an expectation is "something what you are eager to happen". Not the anticipation/longing/hope but the result that did not live up to expectations". To expect something means to take into consideration the downfall of that thing not happening.

Out of an understandable fear, or just emotional handicap, some people choose to distance when they intersect our views on love, dreams, departed people that meant something to us, freedom and breach a trust we difficultly built, after we hardly manage to create an emotional panic room where we feel safe enough to let them get acquainted with our ideas.

When we erroneously think that our level of comprehension manages to transcend the human mental barriers, the others lift once more a mental wall. It's understandable. If we were them, maybe we would do it, too. But we are not. We look all our lives for "the love", "the one", for answers, or clues, and when we finally get them, we lose our precarious balance, as we are not ready. Will we ever be?

The attraction to love is an intrinsic requirement to be in the world, because love is a type of knowledge, of self or the other, of our nature. Experiences, people, choices and knowledge make us who we are at the present time.

Sometimes, we really are who we think we are. Some other times, we are who others think we are. Right here and right now, this is us, a snapshot in time, attached with the warning that we can straighten our wrongs. Or rights. Or just be happy for a season. Or a reason. Never a lifetime.

People you think are spiritually permeable, manage to surprise you eventually, sometimes unpleasantly. What we think it is a common ground - free spirits, accomplices in life - it is all along and exclusively your prerogative and not also theirs.

As luck would have it, they might even think we are abnormal, although we agree that normality and weirdness are both a matter of perception and prone to subjectivism and relativity. Dictionary and psychology experts say abnormal means to deviate from the norm. The norm? What is the norm? Who establishes the norm? Who is the norm authority? What culture? Personally, I've always considered oddness a quality and a first sign of normality.

To those who failed to understand, we hold no grudges as our earthly encounter is not hazardous. Each and one of them teaches us something.

A friend of mine said there are only two things that are everyone's problem in this world and one of them is how we relate to people. His advice was to unemotionally relate to as many people as possible, but don't become part of any relationship. Remain free and let them be free of you. (2009)